And it's still funny. I mean, who'd have thought that Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Harry Potter would all be hobnobbing with the Malfoy family? I never did. Not in a million years would I have pictured this. But it's good. Really, really good.

Lucius and Narcissa have been absolutely wonderful to me. I already feel more like part of the family than their son's boyfriend whom they just met (well, essentially).

Last night over dinner, Ron and Hermione told me that I'm going to be a godfather. And Dark too. I'm thrilled for them, of course. And it'll be fun to be a godfather. Remus told me that had Tonks not lost their baby, he'd have asked me. I'd have liked that. But Tonks did lose the baby and now she and Remus are gone. But enough of that. Ron and Hermione are having a baby and I couldn't be happier. I have everyone I consider close family with me and we're all getting along (shockingly) and everything is perfect. I know the perfect won't last. It never does. But I'm going to savor what we've got right now and know that even when things stop being perfect, there will always be the promise of future perfect.

Well. It's been ages since I updated. The following is what I've been up to.

It's December and I'm a business owner. That should tell you enough right there. There's so many end-of-year things that I need to finish up. I swear, by the end of the day on Wednesday, I was seeing numbers floating around in my dreams and my fingers were typing 10-key in my sleep. It was all spreadsheets, spreadsheets, spreadsheets. All of this is compounded by my recent absences and illness and such. Whereas normally, I try to get a bit of a head-start on these things to avoid the mad December rush, I didn't have the opportunity this year. I don't regret not having the head-start, given what I was doing and with whom, but it's been a bit crazy.

When I haven't been doing the financial stuff for the cafe, I've been putting the final touches on our company holiday party, which was tonight and turned out perfectly if I do say so myself.

I like to keep the entire thing a secret, even the location. So I have hired a cars to go pick everyone up and bring them to the party. Everyone's invited, the whole family, even kids. This year, I decided on the Rain Forest Food Pavilion in the Woodland Park Zoo. It's usually a food court, I believe. But we (and by we, I mean the people I hired mostly) turned it into a winter wonderland. It was gorgeous. The theme was kind of a mix between "The Zoo" and "Carnival." There were "booths" with different games and activities. There were fire blowers and jugglers and clowns and balloon animal makers and... everything I could think of, basically. The food was fantastic, the entertainment very fun, and it was generally a wonderful night. The best part was the look on Abbie's face when he came in. Dark's too, for that matter. I refused to tell either of them what was going to happen, so they were just as surprised as everybody else was. There was even an "Animal experience" wherein a zoo employee brought out a big, beautiful hawk, which captivated all the kids completely. I was afraid it'd be a bit old-hat for Abbie, what with all the owls he's been exposed to, but he seemed just as fascinated as everyone else. The only problem the entire night was that the building was on the chilly side. A discreet warming charm cured that right up, though.

By the end of the night, we were well-fed, happy, had sore feet (from dancing) and several of us were quite drunk. The cars were told to be back at 10, so the party basically wound to a halt then. Since I was the main guy, Dark, Abbie and I were the last to leave. Abbie ended up falling asleep curled up under one of the Christmas trees which caused a bit of a panic until we found him. I picked him up and carried him to the car and we all rode home. It was the perfect night. I also gave out Christmas bonuses tonight. They only go to employees who've been with us for 3 months or longer, so I promised Dark I'd give him his "Bonus" at home. Soon. He's fiddling around with the tub at the moment.

Speaking of perfect nights, a week ago, Dark and I FINALLY had sex. It was... perfect. And let me tell you, having someone lick champagne off your chest is quite possibly one of the sexiest things ever.

Found out earlier today that Lucius and Narcissa are definitely spending Christmas with us, on into the New Year. Lucius head popped up in the fire and I was the only one in the living room at the time and it was such a surprise, I'm afraid I made a bit of a fool of myself. Especially since he was so incredibly pleasant. GENUINELY so. This from a many who more than once tried to kill me (or at the very least capture me so that SOMEONE else could kill me). It's very odd, but I find that I don't mind. I'm looking forward to getting to know my in-laws. Anyway, they'll be here Thursday, I think. Should be fun. And Ron and Hermione will be here on Boxing Day. I can't wait. haven't seen them in far, far too long.

I stopped cooking when I was with Owen. Aside from the fact that he was a chef, he had to find fault in everything I did. If I made pasta, he'd say, "Oh, this is good, but I had better a few days ago at..." or he'd give tips on how I should be chopping my vegetables or how long I should simmer it for or whatever. So, I gave up. Just let him do any actual cooking that happened and otherwise I ordered take out. I forgot how much I really do LIKE it. And it's especially nice to cook for people who actually appreciate it. Who just mmm and ahhh and don't bloody feel the need to criticize my every move. Abbie declared it the best thing he'd ever tasted and that he wanted to eat it every day for the rest of his life. It was just spaghetti and meatballs! It felt good, though.

In other news, Dark's illness has gotten slightly better, but he's still not well enough to shag, the bastard. But I took care of him and we spent a nice day talking about things: the future, our likes and dislikes, how much fun we're going to have when we go kayaking together (kayaking is the only outdoorsy activity I could ever get into. I'm marrying an outdoorsman, though, so I suppose I'll have to get used to camping and the like. But, I've got my own activities that may not be his cup of tea that he's going to do with me, so it all evens out and compromises and there's something wonderful about doing something with someone who's passionate about it, even if you aren't.

Meanwhile, Christmas is fast approaching and I've NO IDEA what to get for him. I think I just need to take a few hours alone one day and wander the shops and Pike Place Market and several other places and just find things. I think it'll work better that way.

Which leads to another new and even scarier thought. What the hell do I get Lucius and Narcissa for Christmas???

So, Dark asked me to move in with him. As roommates. And I said yes. This was either a really, really good decision, or a really, really bad one. I suppose time will tell which. At the moment, it feels right and good. Even if that's all we are and all we ever are: roommates.

Tomorrow, Dark, Abbie, and I are going on a train trip. Abbie's never been on the train and is quite obsessed with them. It should be fun. I can't wait to see his face.

Well. Um. Guess I'll start back at Tuesday. I ended up taking Tuesday off and going shopping with Abbie and Dark as Abbie needed new muggle clothes. At one point after lunch, the little guy walked out in front of traffic just as a car was barreling through. I reached out and grabbed him to pull him back and in the process, I lost my footing and sprained my ankle pretty badly. Even with a spell for the pain, it was still bad enough to induce tears. We went to the mediwizard and he fixed it right away. Only problem, even after you heal a sprained ankle, it's quite weak and prone to soreness and swelling, so they advise you keep of your feet for a couple of days. Dark just automatically took me back to his place and took care of me. It was nice, but that's where our trouble starts. He didn't want me sleeping on the couch with a sprain and like an idiot, I didn't insist on the couch. To make a long story short, I've been sleeping in his bed since Tuesday night. And it's felt like heaven, but I'm an idiot for staying there.

Because I've fallen completely in love with him, and aside from being more physically affectionate than most men, hell, most people, I don't think he wants anything more from me. But... well, what would YOU do if a gorgeous man you've fallen in love with invited you to sleep with him or gave you hugs and held you? I can't... gah. What's worse is that I'm terrible at hiding it. I'm sure he knows, which could potentially make things very awkward. Which means we really need to pull back a bit, but I'm not sure I can do it and if he does it, I'm not sure it won't hurt. Anyway, I'm in a huge mess. Typical, really. Things start going right for once and I've got to do SOMETHING that will fuck it all up.

I miss Tricia. She'd give me a good shake and then some good advice. But she's busy with the almost-In-Laws right now and is visiting them at the moment.

In other news, I really adore Abbie. He's so vibrant and happy and fun. Sure, he whinges and would probably have had a temper tantrum or two without careful intervention, but he's a great little boy. I've been bribing him with stories, "If you go put on your pajamas and get ready for bed, I'll tell you about the time I battled a dragon" and more of the same. I've averted several of the near-tantrums with that line.

Thanksgiving was wonderful. We ate lots of fantastic food and then watched movies and the like the rest of the day. Monday, it's back to work. I've taken too much time off lately. I mean, I'm the boss and they don't actually NEED me. But... I feel guilty for not being there. I went in on Wednesday, but I just did some accounting. Nothing to actually help out and I didn't have enough time to catch up with everybody.

Sorry for the lack of update. Last week, I was working so much and so long, I was mostly just too exhausted to say anything much more than "tired. dark/draco is hot. going to bed." When I wasn't working, I was spending time with him. He's so much fun to be around, to talk with. And I feel more at ease than I ever have with anyone except Ron, Hermione, and Tricia. It's so odd. And wonderful. And I'm in some serious danger here. And I'm not sure I care.

I don't sleep well in new places. Ever. For the first month or so, I toss and turn and start at every minor noise. And yet, I've spent the night (on the couch, you pervs) at his place twice and both times I slept like the dead. The first was quite inconvenient as I slept sitting up with his legs across my thighs. Which sounds dirty. It wasn't. He was all stretched out on the couch. I wanted to sit there, so I moved his legs and sat under them. At any rate, we both woke up a bit sore and not in any of the fun ways. I feel safe with him. On a variety of levels.

I've no idea how he feels about me. He says he's very glad to have met me again, that he likes my company, that he's grateful to have a friend like me, but I don't know what it means. I can't tell if I'm just another dude to him, or what.

In the course of our conversations, we've talked about what's happened in the past 9 and a half years. Which means talking about exes since both of us seem to have had our fair share. And somehow in the course of conversations later, I ended up telling him about other things. Things I never tell anyone. Not Tricia or Ron or Hermione. How sometimes I feel like a balloon, floating on a string above everyone else, just out of touch and completely hollow. And how it's those times when I find myself in a bar and don't go home that night.

I was feeling distinctly balloon-like today. He has the next couple of weeks off as his little brother, Abbie, was supposed to be here visiting. He is here and their parents came to drop him off. And... there''s a holiday this week that is very family-focused and everyone at work, customers and employees alike, was talking about how they're going to visit their parents or grandparents or in-laws for the holiday and even Dark got to see his parents and none of them understand how lucky they are. So I was feeling like a balloon. And he called and asked how I was doing and for once in my life I was honest and told him, "Balloon-like." And he invited me over and suddenly, it was all okay again.

Abbie, his little brother, is a dear. A twerp, but a dear. He was just what I needed. That and another of Dark's tasty meals and just... his presence. I'm still here. Abbie is asleep and Dark went to bed about an hour ago and I've just been sitting on his couch, curled up with his cat (who currently has no name other than Cat Thing) and I've been thinking. And I'm not coming up with any solid conclusions, so I think I'll go to sleep.

At any rate, we've got a busy day ahead of us tomorrow. Abbie needs new things. He's apparently going to be staying longer than the earlier planned time. Something to do with Lucius and a business dealing that the British Ministry is investigating. Shocking, I know. But Dark is convinced that his father is actually innocent in all of it, and I'm inclined to believe him. Anyway, Ron's running the aurors now, and he won't let past mistakes like locking a man up without a trial or proper evidence happen again, even if it is Lucius Malfoy. Anyway, I think he's more worried about his dad than he's letting on, and Abbie really is a handful, so he was exhausted and worn down. I think he needed me as much as I needed him right then. When I thanked him again for inviting me over, saying I hadn't been in a good place earlier, he said he hadn't either. I'm glad I could help him.

So, Dark, Draco, whatever, called me this evening and asked me to join him and his little brother for Thanksgiving. Which is really wonderful of him, especially given that I had no plans for Thanksgiving other than ordering Peking Duck and watching Christmas movies on the telly all day.

Today was better. His feet and legs were really sore from all the standing, so I sent him in the back to make sandwiches instead of doing more standing. I feel bad that he was in pain, but wow am I grateful for it. And I'm exhausted from all this training. I help open the shop every morning at five and usually leave at 1 or 2. I've been staying later to train him as I'm a control freak like that. I'll be glad when he's all trained up. For a variety of reasons.

I spent all day working right next to him. And he kept SAYING things. I can't count the times I had to hold back a completely inappropriate sound. He said he didn't feel like he'd have accomplished anything until he learned how to do latte art and I said, "I don't know, it's quite nice when someone takes a sip of a drink you've made and moans with pleasure," and he answered, "Yes, it IS quite nice to make someone moan." Gah.

I called Tricia last night and told her about everything and she had absolutely no sympathy. Trust my best friend to be mean to me in my time of need.

Somebody shoot me. Please.

I am in trouble. Big trouble. In the immortal words of Jon Stewart, this is a catastrofuck.

I am... painfully... attracted to Draco Malfoy. Who is now my employee. Goddamn it.

Contrary to popular opinion, it does not rain all the time in Seattle. But it's raining now. Hard (which it doesn't usually do) and I've been standing at my floor-to-ceiling living room window with all the lights out, watching it pour down on the city.

I was unexplainably grumpy and restless yesterday. Mindy called me "Mr. Grumpy Pants." Luckily, my shift finished at 1, so I went home and took a nap. Which didn't particularly help, so I made myself a Gin and Tonic and read and tried to relax. Didn't really work either, so around 8:30 I just said fuck it, took some dreamless sleep and went back to bed.

Felt better today. Hopefully tomorrow will be even better.

So, I met Draco Malfoy again today. He walked into my cafe and ordered a cappuccino. I didn't recognize him at first. At all. He seemed familiar, but I had no idea until he made a reference to The Leaky Cauldron and then we chatted more. He figured out who I was before I figured out who he was. Damn name tag. Anyway, I left poor Matt to run the show whilst I sat with him and drank our respective drinks and chatted. We chatted until it was time for me to leave, and since we weren't done chatting, he invited me over to dinner at his place.

He has a dog, named Lady. Normally I am absolutely not a fan of dogs, but she seems like a good, sweet dog. She doesn't smell, she doesn't bark like crazy, she doesn't jump. I think I might actually manage to get along with her.

Strangely enough, I ended up offering him a job. He seems to be feeling rather directionless and at loose ends. I was joking, mostly, but it was a serious offer, if he wants it. It'll be a bit odd, being his boss. And he has yet to be introduced to Anal Coffee Nazi Harry, but hopefully it'll work out. If he decides to work for me, that is. But I think he might.

Anyway, we had a good meal, good conversation, and a good time together and I think we'll be good friends. Apparently he's big into outdoorsy things and such. Which means he'll get along great with Tricia.

I'm still, processing, I guess, meeting him again. From the moment I saw him, before even knowing his name, I felt at ease in his presence. As if I knew him. And I did, but... it was a deeper feeling. About halfway through dinner, I figured it out. I still have his old wand and even though it's mine now, and I use it frequently, the chose him long ago. Magic doesn't really change, just our minds and the way we use it. And I still know that part of him. Rather intimately, really. It's so odd. But quite nice at the same time.

More later. I'll also post about more about Owen, too. I need to get some of that out.

It was a fine day, until Owen called in the middle of the lunch rush claiming that I still had thus and such pan and would I please give it BACK. It's only been ELEVEN MONTHS. I've only MOVED since then. Stupid bastard. Why the fuck would I still have his pan? I don't COOK. And even if I did, it's been ELEVEN MONTHS. Basically, I told him to bugger off and die. But, of course, I went to the storage unit and looked for the goddamn pan after work, just so it wouldn't NAG at me. It wasn't there, but I still don't feel any resolution. He's such a bastard. And I was so in love with him at one point. I've no idea why. Let's hope tomorrow is better.

Even though I worked the weekend, Mondays are still Mondays. Today, though, I had the great satisfaction of shocking a very rude customer into silence. The bitch was berating me because she was given a blueberry scone instead of a raisin one and despite reassurances that a raisin scone would be brought to her straightaway, she continued yelling and demanded to see my manager. I said, "Well, ma'am, I own this place, so you can't get much more manager than me. The way I see it, you have two choices: you can wait here a moment while I get your scone, or you can leave without it. Your choice." She left. it was beautiful.

And now I'm going to bed. I just had to share that. It was the best damn thing that happened to day.

I worked most of this weekend. Such is the life of a cafe owner in the touristy area of the city. I don't have to work every weekend, but I'm a softy at heart and I let my employees lay on the puppy dog eyes at least 2 weekends a month. It's not like I've anything better to do.

This evening, though, Tricia came over and brought her current man and we got carry out and a couple of bottles of wine from The Purple Wine Bar . A grand time was had by all.

Tricia is my best friend here in Seattle. And my ex. Which seems odd to most people, when I tell them, but it works for us. My icon is a picture of the two of us together at a wedding reception a few months ago. We haven't dated since 2001, but we're always each other's fall-back date when we're not dating someone. And sometimes when we are. We met in line at the post office on April 15. Both of us had forgotten all about taxes, she because she's scattered and ridiculous like that, and me because I was new to having to pay taxes on April 15. She was pretty and fun and a Seattle native who showed me all over the city an introduced me to all the local hotspots. She's also quite the fan of the outdoors, which I could never get into beyond kayaking on Lake Union and Lake Washington. Spending months and months and months in a tent searching for needles in haystacks will do that to you.

We both judge any boyfriend (and every once in a while a girlfriend for both of us) the other gets by their ability to tolerate our presence in each other's lives. We know a relationship won't last long if said significant other does not like us. I hope that made sense. I confused myself writing it.

Tricia is my rock. She's the one I turned to when I found out John had a wife and kids in Portland and a girlfriend on the side. She's who I turned to when Andrew moved back east, when I broke up with Noah, and then Natalie, when Neville left. And when Owen and I ended it with a screaming row. Dunno where I'd be without her, really.

Anyway, Tricia and Rob and I had a grand time tonight. Eating and drinking and laughing. I can't wait for Ron and Hermione to meet her at Christmas. Ron will think she's a bit barmy, but like her because she's fun, and Hermione will at first think of her like she thought of Luna but then have an actual conversation with her. She's very smart. Has a master's degree in Chemistry.

So that was my Sunday. I was careful not to drink too much, else 4:15 am will HURT. There are times when I think myself a complete nutter for working in the industry I do, but I love coffee, and I love cafes, and I love Seattle before most people have gotten up.

I've no idea why I started this journal. None at all. It was just... a whim. But maybe I'l record my thoughts here. Hermione might read it, if nobody else will.